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| Rook Tales | The Ballad of Mr. Baumann | |
| Charm School |
Prologue
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| The episode starts with a whole crowd of students with indistinct conversations going on outside Friedkin University. | |
| Girl #1 | I heard his class is full for the next five years. |
| Girl #2 | I heard even the waiting list has a waiting list. |
| Xagliv | As always, we will do our best to accommodate as many of you as possible, but the fire marshal will enforce a cut-off point at maximum capacity. |
| Inside a classroom full of students, Hex teleports in the room, and appears to be the teacher of the classroom. | |
| Students | (cheering) |
| Hex | (offscreen) Welcome once again all you (onscreen) eager young minds, to history 310, magical artifacts and antiquities! |
| Students | (cheer and applause) |
| Theme Plays. | |
Act 1
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| Hex | Allow me to introduce myself, I am Professor Hex! If you excel with me, you will unlock the hidden secrets of the Eldritch Arts, as well as earn one general-education credit. Of course, some of us have more of a headstart than others. Welcome to the big leagues, Miss Tennyson. |
| Gwen blushes and laughs nervously. | |
| A few minutes later. | |
| Hex | (asking her to give an answer) Gwendolyn Tennyson. |
| Gwen | The stone of Giramphiel! |
| Hex | Gwendolyn Tennyson. |
| Gwen | The Mesopotamian tablet of destiny. |
| Hex | Gwendolyn Tennyson. |
| Gwen | Um... um... King Ramses III. |
| Hex | Very good, Miss Tennyson, but can you tell me which piece of medieval jewellery is known to cure blindness? |
| Charmcaster | The ring of Mudarra. |
| Gwen | Charmcaster? |
| Hex | (clears throat) Yes, the charming new student is correct. |
| Charmcaster | I have a question for you, Professor. (chuckles) What is the most powerful focusing talisman ever set among the nine realms? - Oh come on, as if you don't know. (chuckles) The Staff of Ages, ring a bell? |
| Hex | Class dismissed. (disappears in red fog) |
| The students then get up and start exiting the room. | |
| Gwen | Charmcaster, wait! I just want to talk! |
| ...but, Charmcaster is gone. | |
| Meanwhile, in Undertown, Rook and Ben have placed Suemungousaur under arrest and cuffed her in energy manacles. | |
| Rook | For the last time, Suemungousaur, you are seventeen feet tall, you make a terrible shoplifter. |
| Shopkeeper | (warbles angrily) |
| Then, Ben's Cell Phone rings, the call is from Gwen and he answers. | |
| Ben | Gwen! Hey, how are y- (sighs) Fine, "Gwendolyn." Happy now? - Don't move, we'll be right there. |
| Rook | We will? What about Suemungousaur? |
| Ben | We've got bigger fish to fry. |
| Rook | This hardly seems like a good time (removes Suemungousaur's manacles) to meet Gwendolyn for a meal. |
| Ben | (offscreen)It's just an expression, Rook. (onscreen) No fish, no frying. |
| Rook | Who made up your language? |
| The shopkeeper then starts warbling angrily as Suemungousaur takes off with one of his food. | |
| In Kevin's garage, with Kevin and Gwen, while the former is working on his car. | |
| Kevin | Are you sure it was Charmcaster? |
| Gwen | Am I- (scoffs) Of course I'm sure! What kind of question is that?! I-I-I think I know Charmcaster when I see her. |
| Kevin | A lot of kids try out different looks when they go away to college. |
| Gwen | (dryly) Ha ha. |
| Kevin | I'm just sayin'. |
| Gwen | Fine, then don't believe me. Ben and Rook are on their way here anyway. |
| Kevin | Aaaaaand I'm done. (closes trunk) It's just gonna get trashed when Ben gets here. |
| At Friedkin, Ben, Rook, Gwen and Kevin are outside with Zed. | |
| Rook | Why would Charmcaster come to this university of all places? There is nothing connecting her here that I know of. |
| Ben | Except Gwen. |
| Gwen | Yeah, about that. |
| A crowd cheers upon seeing Hex walk out the door. | |
| Girl #1 | There he is. |
| Girl #2 | I love you! |
| Crowd | (indistinct talking) |
| Xagliv | Hey, disperse! This is a place of learning, not a malt shop, go! |
| Hex | Thank you, Helena. |
| Xagliv | Such tomfoolery. (flirting) Little girls and their crushes. What you need is brains, not youth, a mature woman has it's advantages. Say, tea, tonight, my office? |
| Hex | (shudders; sees Gwen) Oh... look, one of my students. (running to Gwen; waves) |
| Ben | Gwen, Look out! Hex! |
| Ben activates the Omnitrix and turns into Kickin' Hawk. | |
| Gwen | Ben, no! |
| Kickin' Hawk then pounces on Hex, rolls him onto a tree, then roars on him. | |
| Gwen | It's not what you think! Professor Hex is the best history of magical artifacts and antiquities teacher we've ever had. |
| Kickin' Hawk | Professor Hex? |
| Rook | Gwendolyn, with due respect you and the student body are obviously under the influence of Hex's spell. |
| Gwen | A little credit, I checked for that. |
| Gwen constructs manna scanning grids to scan for any magic spell, but no readings on any spell. | |
| Gwen | Full sweep of the campus, see? No sign of any spell, mind control or otherwise. Now do you believe me? |
| Kickin' Hawk | Or Hex is just magically making you think there's no spell. |
| Kevin | (scoffs) Come on, Gwendolyn would never fall for the old "I used to be bad, but now I'm good" routine. - What? |
| Omnitrix times out and Kickin' Hawk reverts into Ben. | |
| Ben | All right, (offscreen) so I may not know what you're up to, (onscreen) but you're up to... something. Admit it! |
| Gwen | Ben, you're being rude! |
| Hex | That's all right, Gwendolyn, there will always be people who don't like to give second chances. I had to donate my entire collection of rare books to the university to even be considered for this job. Never get a tattoo on your face, children. It severely limits your career choices. (offscreen) By the way, (onscreen) an excellent job in class today, Gwendolyn, as always. |
| Gwen | (chuckles nervously) Thank you Professor. But what was Charmcaster doing here? |
| Hex | I have no idea, I hadn't seen or heard from my wayward niece in a very long time before today. I'm just relieved to know she's alive. |
| Rook | Mr. Hex, it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that your niece is both unstable and very dangerous. |
| Hex | Unstable? In what way? |
| Ben | (mimicking Charmcaster) What's that, magic talking bag? You think I should try to kill Ben and Rook, even after they helped me get my rune back? Okay! |
| Rook | Ben is correct. To put it gently, she was a few Amber Ogia bushels short of a properly sized harvest. |
| Hex | (sighs) I was afraid of that, Charmcaster has had a tough life, but she is family and I believe there is good in her... somewhere. If you'll excuse me Gwendolyn, today has left me quite fatigued. (walks away) |
| A few minutes later, the Sandwich Vendor has his truck at Friedkin, serving sandwiches to the students while the team are eating together, sat down on the ground. | |
| Ben | But he's got to be evil! Just look at him! |
| Rook | (bites sandwich) I am not aware of any earthly laws against having a skull for a face. |
| Gwen | And finding Charmcaster needs to be our top priority right now. |
| Ben | (to Gwen) Maybe yours. |
| Kevin | (wraps wrapper into a ball) Well, sounds like you've got everything covered. (throws wrapper into bin) If you need us, Rook and I will be at the garage. |
| Gwen | What happened to not bothering to work on your car while Ben was in town? |
| Kevin | New plan. But I need Rook's genius alien brain. |
| Rook | Hmm. It would be a pleasant diversion to discuss the latest advancements in crystalline-fusion tech with a fellow gearhead. |
| Kevin | Great. (starts walking away with Rook) Catch up with you later. |
| Inside Friedkin, Charmcaster uses a manna blade to cut the door to Hex's library open and then enters and is looking for a book then gets caught by Hex. | |
| Hex | (offscreen) That was unwise, (onscreen) showing up like that. They could have caught you. |
| Charmcaster | It couldn't be helped, I needed something to crush our enemies. |
| Hex | You have to understand, Charmcaster, that part of my life is behind me now. |
| Charmcaster | (talking to her bag) No, he'll help us, he knows we've been wronged, and he owes us! |
| Hex | What happened? |
| Charmcaster | Puberty. A relationship or two, you were too a bad boyfriend! Now shut up or I'll stick you in the dishwasher again! (offscreen) Do not test me! (onscreen) I know I'm not well, Uncle Hex, I just thought... you're the only family I have left. Like always, the two of us versus the world, right? |
| Hex then walks up to Charmcaster and tries to hug her, but Charmcatser wraps a manna lasso around Hex's neck, then converts it into manna handcuffs to restrain his hands. | |
| Charmcaster | (laughs) How the mighty have fallen! |
| Hex | (grunts) I don't know what you want, but you will not get it, I won't let you. |
| Charmcaster | Oh, I'll get it, my family's birthright, the talisman left at the door by the lurker at the threshold, the most powerful item in this whole ratty collection! Where is it, uncle? Where did you hide the Staff of Ages? |
Act 2
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| Charmcaster | Give it to me, uncle! Give the staff to me! |
| Hex uses magic to telekinetically bring one of his spellbooks to him. | |
| Hex | A nice side benefit of donating my entire collection, all of my magical books are right here when I need them. |
| Hex uses magic to make the manna handcuffs disappear, then uses his manna to telekinetically push Charmcaster onto the bookcase. The Staff of Ages comes out of the book. | |
| Hex | Is this the staff you were searching for? - I am unbeatable within these walls, Charmcaster! This is pointless, child. Give it up, build a life here, white me. We can be a family again. |
| Charmcaster | Life? (chuckles) I had a life once, but then he took it from me! (to her bag) What do you mean which one am I talking about? Both! Neither! (screams) |
| Hex uses the staff to fire a manna beam at Charmcaster, but she empowers herself with manna and deflects the manna beam. Charmcaster then disappears. | |
| In Kevin's garage with Kevin and Rook. | |
| Rook | (reading computer screen) Two secret car elevators, Galvan fuel injectors, Appoplexian cold-burning nitrus. Your setup is very high in sugar, indeed... |
| Kevin | Just say "sweet" dude. And let me guess, you're wondering how I can afford all this when I lost my job at the garage? |
| Rook | The thought had crossed my mind. |
| Kevin | Relax Plumber boy, everything's legit. Remember when I won the Taydenite wheels from Warlord Gar? |
| Kevin then takes off a towel covering the Taydenite Car, then absorbs the car for his hand, morphing it into a spiked mace to cut off a small-inch Taydenite shard from the car. | |
| Rook | (offscreen)I see, you turn into Taydenite, (onscreen) the one substance in the universe hard enough to cut Taydenite. And since pure Taydenite is worth a fortune... |
| Kevin | Exactly, as long as I have this baby, I'm living on easy street. |
| Rook | And now that you have secured a certain largess, you mean to modify your own car to be practically indestructible by Ben or his aliens? |
| Kevin | Yeah, pretty smart, right? |
| Rook | We will have to replace the frame, a few coats of Pyronite wax for resisting extreme temperatures, Orishan glass for multiple atmospheres, and some new way to resist high-explosive yields. |
| Kevin | Mm-hmm. |
| Rook | It is a monumental task, perhaps altogether impossible. |
| Kevin | That mean you're out? |
| Rook | No, I was just pointing out how much fun this is going to be. |
| In Hex's classroom, Hex is handing out exam results to his students. | |
| Hex | I'd like to remind my students, the ones actually taking this class to pick up their graded quizzes before they go. |
| Ben | He's gonna do something evil any minute now, I know it! |
| Gwen | I'm telling you, he's not. Professor Hex isn't evil, he's just... a bad dresser. (reads her exam) A B-Plus?! Oh, that is evil. |
| Meanwhile, Charmcaster tries to break into Hex's library once again. She tries to open the doors with magic, but it seems to have been affected by a protection spell. | |
| Charmcaster | A protection spell, how maddeningly like my worthless uncle. (to her bag) No one can enter Hex's library without his presence. Well I can't go in there when he is, duh! Uncle Hex is all powerful in his library, like you used to be in Legerdomain before I- (smiles cunningly) |
| In Kevin's garage, Kevin and Rook are wearing safety goggles for the car durability test. | |
| Kevin | Here goes nothing. |
| Kevin then presses button and the car test begins. First, several cameras shoot energy lasers on the car, then acid drips onto the car, then saw blades slice on it, then a freeze ray freezes the car in solid ice, then some lava pours on it, finally, a bomb drops and explodes on the car. The test is complete, and the car resisted these attacks, in one piece, proving to Kevin that this car is "Ben-proof." | |
| Kevin and Rook | All right! |
| Kevin | Let's take this to another level. |
| In Xagliv's office, Hex is in. Xagliv then enters. | |
| Xagliv | There you are, Hex. I've been looking all over to share that tea. |
| Hex | Helena, I'm flattered but this really isn't the best- |
| Suddenly, it is revealed that Xagliv was just Charmcaster in disguise. Charmcaster unshifts then does a spell on Hex that is making him fade. Hex then has turned into a totem, the real Xagliv then enters. | |
| Real Xagliv | Excuse me, young lady, you've not seen Professor Hex by chance? We two had... an engagement. |
| Charmcaster | Mm, you just missed him. |
| The bell starts tolling. | |
| In Hex's classroom, on the board, in red writing, it says "Class Cancelled!" | |
| Then, Eye Guy is on a ceiling of Friedkin. | |
| Eye Guy | Ah! |
| Eye Guy turns around and sees Gwen in Anodite form behind him. | |
| Eye Guy | Aah! |
| Gwen | Really? You're the walking eyeball monster and I scared you? |
| Eye Guy | I didn't expect to see you here. Don't you have your favourite class now? |
| Gwen | Cancelled, Professor Hex didn't show up. |
| Eye Guy | Sounds pretty suspicious. |
| Gwen | Maybe he just has the flu. |
| Eye Guy reverts into Ben. | |
| Gwen | Maybe not. |
| Xagliv | (offscreen) Lucky Girl, (onscreen) have you seen Professor Hex? We had an... appointment. |
| Gwen | Uh... no, citizen. But I'll keep a sharp lookout for him, promise. |
| Xagliv | Thank you, darling. Such a well-mannered young woman you are. Oh, Hex, darling! Yoo-hoo! |
| Gwen | This campus just keeps getting weirder and weirder. |
| Suddenly, BANG, an explosion occurs on the ground. Ben and Gwen go to check it out, it is revealed to be coming from Kevin's car, in which Kevin, Rook and Zed are still working on it. | |
| Rook | Are we sure this scratch was not present before? (gets out wrench) Then our work is not done. |
| Then, Charmcaster exploits Hex's magic via the totem to open the door to his library. | |
| Charmcaster | Oh, uncle Hex, your reputation always did open doors for me. |
| Suddenly, Charmcaster steps on a pressure plate, making four arrows emit from a clock and fire at Charmcaster, but she uses Hex's magic to stop the arrows in time. | |
| Charmcaster | O...M...G, this is so exciting! Can you even stand it? Okay now, if I were a staff of eldritch power, where would I be? |
| Charmcaster then uses the Hex totem to locate the book containing the Staff of Ages. | |
| Charmcaster | Jackpot. (brings the book to her via telekinesis) |
| Charmcaster then brings the Staff of Ages out of the book. | |
| Charmcaster | (squeals) The Staff of Ages, and it's all mine! This is my lucky d- |
| Suddenly, Gwen swoops in and kicks Charmcaster away then takes the staff out of her hand. | |
| Gwen | (offscreen) Stop this, Charmcaster, (onscreen) your uncle says you're not a bad person. You're just... damaged. |
| Charmcaster | (grunts) I'll show you damaged! (pulls out Hex totem) |
| Gwen | (gasps) Is that... |
| Charmcaster | As long as I am with my dear uncle Hex in this library, I am invincible! (hits Gwen with manna laser) |
| Gwen | We'll see about that. |
| Gwen fires a red manna laser via the Staff of Ages on Charmcaster, but Charmcaster repels the attack. Charmcaster then takes the staff back via telekinesis and Gwen gets chased by a manna beam being shot by Charmcaster. Gwen hides behind a bookcase, then Charmcaster teleports behind Gwen and knocks her away. Gwen then goes flying through several bookcases that change her appearance, then the spells shortly wear off as she goes through a bookcase that makes her normal again. | |
| Charmcaster | Yes. And now to squash little Miss teacher's pest once and for all. |
Act 3
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| Charmcaster blasts Gwen through a ceiling then her fall breaks as she creates a manna platform to float her on the ceiling, Charmcaster levitates to Gwen. | |
| Charmcaster | Already tired, Gwen? Oh, or is it Gwendolyn now, (offscreen) I forget. |
| Gwen fires a manna disk on Charmcaster, but it just shatters. Charmcaster then fires a manna projectile on Gwen, but the latter puts up a manna shield to defend from the attack, then Charmcaster jumps and tries to hit her with the staff. Gwen then goes over to Charmcaster and grabs her arms. | |
| Charmcaster | Big mistake, Gwendolyn. |
| Gwen | Call me Lucky Girl! |
| Charmcaster back slams Gwen onto the ceiling. Meanwhile, on the ground, Kevin and Rook have finally modified the former's car. | |
| Kevin | (offscreen) Talpaedan impact resistance. |
| Rook | (offscreen) Amperi electrical insulation. |
| Kevin | (offscreen) Fireproof. |
| Rook | (offscreen) Waterproof. |
| Kevin | (offscreen) Bulletproof. |
| Rook | (offscreen) Explosion-proof. |
| Kevin | (offscreen) Everything-proof! |
| Kevin and Rook | (high five each other) Yes! |
| Kevin | We did it, buddy. There's no way Ben or anyone in the galaxy can ever touch this beauty now. |
| Suddenly, the crossfire between Gwen and Charmcaster's fight causes them to accidentally shoot a magic beam on Kevin's car, causing it to disappear. | |
| Rook | Magic. |
| Kevin | I blame myself. |
| Gwen | (constructs manna force field) Shield of the Seraphim! |
| Charmcaster then uses the staff to knock the manna force field back. | |
| Gwen | Song of the Elder Sign! |
| Gwen then shoots a manna ground wave on Charmcaster, but Charmcaster deflects it back to the former, knocking her back. | |
| Charmcaster | Protection spells, how quaint. I always was the better sorceress. |
| Gwen | Maybe, but if you were the better student, you would know that the invocation of the wandering eye... |
| Gwen's eyes glow pink, then illusionally duplicates herself into more than 10 clones. | |
| All Gwens | Is an illusion spell. |
| Charmcaster | Huh? |
| Charmcaster hits several Gwens with the staff, but they hold onto the staff, buying the original Gwen some time to take the Hex totem out of Charmcaster's bag. | |
| Charmcaster | That was your big play? (offscreen) Steal uncle Hex back from me? (onscreen) I don't need my uncle anymore to defeat you! |
| Charmcaster kicks the duplicate Gwen's away, making the duplicates disappear. Ghostfreak then phases his head through the ceiling via intangibility. | |
| Ghostfreak | Gwen, I've been all over campus and there's no sign of... (sees Charmcaster) Hey, there she is! |
| Gwen | Not helpful, Ben! |
| Charmcaster charges at Gwen, then Charmcaster morphs the staff into a magic mallet, then she hits it on the ceiling and part of the ceiling, which Gwen is standing on then falls on the ground. Charmcaster then magics some magic rock bats. | |
| Kevin | "Charmcaster and the Rock Bats", sounds like a band name. |
| Kevin, Rook and Zed then run away from the rock bats as the bats chase them on the ceiling. On another ceiling, Ghostfreak and Gwen are running away from Charmcaster as she chases them. Rook uses his Proto-Tool to try and shoot the bats, but the bats use their sonic screeches to defend. | |
| Rook | (offscreen) It is no use, (onscreen) Charmcaster's magic is too powerful. |
| Ghostfreak | Why aren't we ending this? |
| Kevin | Be my guest, Tennyson, nobody can get near her. |
| Ghostfreak | Hmm. Maybe "no body" can, but Ghostfreak doesn't have a body. |
| Ghostfreak goes over to Charmcaster and hits her. | |
| Gwen | Drive her back into the library. |
| Kevin | Uh, g, please tell me there's an "and then" to that idea, 'cause isn't the library where all of Hex's magic books are? |
| Gwen | Just do it, I'll handle the rest. (stops running) Chant of Toth! |
| Gwen magics up a manna wall that blocks the rock bats as they charge at her. | |
| Charmcaster | (to Ghostfreak) Ooh! You would make a nice totem. |
| Charmcaster blasts a manna blast on Ghostfreak, making him scream. Charmcaster then sees Kevin, Rook and Zed entering Friedkin through a hole in the wall as Charmcaster throws Ghostfreak through that hole. Ghostfreak reverts into Ben. Charmcaster then enters through the hole, then gets blasted back by a manna blast from Gwen as she enters as well. | |
| Charmcaster | (chuckles) Is this your way of saying you give up? I blasted you out of here once and I'll do it again! |
| Gwen | Really? Because last time you has access to this place's protector. This time, I do, (pulls out Hex totem) so in here, that makes me ALL POWERFUL! |
| Charmcaster | No! |
| Charmcaster uses the staff to fire a manna beam on Gwen, but the latter uses Hex's power to deflect the beam. | |
| Charmcaster | You think you're so smart? |
| Gwen | Yeah, kinda. Only one of us actually goes to this school! |
| Charmcaster growls and then jumps and uses the staff to hit the books being blown at her. Charmcaster tries to use the staff to melee attack Gwen, but the latter blocks the attack with a book, Gwen grabs the Staff of Ages to blast Charmcaster back. | |
| Charmcaster | This isn't over! |
| Gwen uses Hex's power to open a magic portal behind Charmcaster which sucks her in, and the Hex totem automatically flows to Charmcaster as the portal closes. | |
| Gwen | (grabs staff) It never is. |
| Ben | (offscreen) Well there's something you definitely don't see every day. |
| Kevin | Yeah, unless you're us. |
| Rook | And Charmcaster? She is gone? |
| Gwen | Not without a parting threat, but I'm not worried. She'll have a lot more to deal with next time. |
| Kevin | What's that supposed to mean? |
| Rook | I see, Charmcaster leaving this dimension with the Hex totem left a magical vacuum in this realm. |
| Gwen | Hex's library and everything in it is mine now, it's a big responsibility. I just... wish I didn't have to lose my favorite teacher to finally get myself a real secret lair on campus. |
| Ben | Hmm, new secret lair and we defeated Charmcaster. Not a bad day's work. |
| Rook | If you do not count all of the destruction to university property. |
| Kevin | (sniffles in distress) |
| Gwen | Kevin? Are you crying? |
| Kevin | (teary-eyed) No, no I uh... I have allergies. |
| Rook | Look on the bright side, now you have an excuse to go back to the auto show. |
| Kevin | Hey, that's right! What do you say, Rook? Give me a lift? |
| Rook | It would be my pleasure. |
| Rook and Kevin then run out of the library. | |
| Ben | Hey! How am I supposed to get back to Bellwood? |
| Gwen just walks off. Ben is stressed, he then gets the idea of using the Omnitrix, but he unintentionally transforms into Walkatrout. | |
| Walkatrout | (miserably) Figures. |
| Credits Play. | |